Friday, August 26, 2011

40 Days of Night(mares) Day 4: A horror movie you thought you'd love and didn't

I approached this entry intending to choose The Wolfman remake, but I've railed against how boring that movie was and how disappointing the CGI wolf was on Facebook before, so I thought I'd move on to my second choice, Jennifer's Body.
I really had high hopes for this movie as soon as I heard a description of it and I like Juno a lot, so having the same writer was a plus for me. And then the poster came out, and holy Jeebus and the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Megan Fox looked so hot, my interest went up. Add to that the kiss between Fox and Amanda Seyfried, and I was ready to buy tickets and wait on line like a parent's basement Star Wars geek (no offense guys, I'm one of you).
Then, the movie came out and... oh dear God, it was bad. Megan Fox reminds me of another great horror actor, Bruce, the shark from Jaws. Take it from Robert Shaw... "And, you know, the thing about [Megan Fox]...[s] he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes." She puts the same emotion and conviction in her performance that a mostly broken mechanical shark does. Admittedly she's nice eye candy, but that only gets you so far. She never once portrays anything other than vapidness. On the other hand, I like Amanda Seyfried, who's no slouch in the looks department either. I found myself wondering how many times she called her management and bitched at them for putting her in this movie. Of all the dead bodies in this film, she is the greatest victim in this movie. The "bad guys" were lame and the action unfullfilling. I really can find almost no redeeming features to recommend this movie. It doesn't even qualify as a good bad movie.
My score for Jennifer's Body is a generous 2 out of 10 and that's mostly a pity score.

No comments:

Post a Comment