Tuesday, September 20, 2011

40 Days of Night(mares) Day 29: Worst Horror Movie

Oh, wow. There are a virtual treasure trove of bad horror movies out there. Fortunately, most of them fall into the "so bad it's enjoyable" mode, but there are those that rise above the horrible level to the rarified air reserved for such gems as "Showgirls" , a movie so bad that even the numerous nude women in it couldn't make it watchable.
No, wait... Seriously?
The first one that came to mind is the abomination known as Babel. No, wait, that wasn't a horror movie, although it was horrifically bad. Thank you, I'll be here all week! No, seriously, The Gingerdead Man is one of the worst movies made. I'm not talking about The Gingerbread Man. the Kenneth Branagh film noir movie, which is actually pretty dang good, I'm talking about the 2005 Gary Busey (yeah, Gary Busey) movie about a demonic cookie. I repeat. A demonic cookie... So yeah, that actually was made.
Where to begin... well, it was made in 2005, but has all the film quality of a shot on tape 80's porn (according to my friends who have told me about such things). The best performance in the movie is by Gary Busey, AS A COOKIE!! That should say something. I couldn't even enjoy it on an ironic level. I didn't even finish it, and I've watched virtually every Troma film made, which are purposefully bad.
As a horror villain, the cookie is so laughable, no one could ever take it seriously. I mean, it's mortal enemy is a glass of milk. How are you supposed to be afraid of that.
I think they must have figured that out after seeing test footage of the effects, because the movie tries to play straight until the killer crumb comes to life. After that, it tries to be a horror comedy, but it can't even do that right. Do yourself a favor and run, run, run as fast as you can away from The Gingerdead Man.

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